“I don’t care if he has ‘stomach complaints’, a note from the local whitching women and two tickets to Oasis, if he wins the draw they end up here….”
The two men looked at the woe begotten row of sad shuffling souls lined up across the room.
Their dirty backs to the windows, that looked out over the dimly misted view of the valley to the far purple tinted mountains in the distance.. . .
”But I’m not sure he’ll make it, just look at him . . .”
”Hold on which one is he…?!”
” I told you, number seven. . . . “
“ Seven…? ” . The chancellor looked at the Squire, and raised a questioning eyebrow.
” Yes Seven, hissed the Squire…”
”What that big strapping one with the 3D printer burn…? That’s number seven…?”
”No, the one next to the one with only a left leg….”
” Right….”
” No left…”
Hold on that’s number nine isn’t it…?
”No, number Seven "
”Hold on a minute, which end are you numbering from…?”
” as tradition decrees, the order they came in the room . . . “
” Tradition, always tradition, isn’t it . . . .". No matter what the problem is the excuse is always tradition”
The Chancellor sighed, and stared into a spot some distance above the squires head . . ,
“I long for the good old days of Health & Safety, you knew where you stood then, apart of course for Number eight . . .”
So the first one throu the door was that, the chancellor paused, licked his lips, and proceeded with carefully chosen words…
” The …. eh . . . heavy boned one, over there at the end…”?
”Yes, the one who looks like a turkey….”"
The chancellor peered over his half rimmed glasses, waited two breaths and said…
”You never were one for the subtle description, squire , were you …?”
” so hold on a minute, who did we send to the her Majesty’s room…? “
”Number two….”
”But he’s still standing over there isn’t he…?”
”No that’s number sixteen…”
The chancellor, scowled and lowered his voice to a low, slow menacing hiss. . .
” Which end are you numbering from….”
”Over by the wall, Number One….”
” we appear , my dear squire to have been working under rather an involved assumption….”
”Squire, my dear friend, during your slow and relaxed journey, throu’ what passes for an education system in this”
Who glanced towards the door, and raised his voice, a little.
”Magnificent realm”,
he returned to the hiss but, smoother and less urgent . .
”Did you ever come across the concept of Big and Little Endian….?”
” Sorry squire..? “ Said the squire…
”No, I don’t suppose you did, did you…?”
The chancellor paused, stared towards the ceiling, and sighed once more. . .
” So Her Majesty got Number fifteen then?”
He glanced at the list….
” She is not going to be pleased, is she . . .?”